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Morphic Adaptation Unit: Volunteers
by Danielle J

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Comment by mia pron khalifa on 12/20/18
XEKe1E The Birch of the Shadow I believe there may become a couple of duplicates, but an exceedingly handy listing! I have tweeted this. A lot of thanks for sharing!

Comment by Keisha on 12/13/11
It's good to see someone thnkiing it through.

Comment by Sydney Michelle on 12/06/01
Although very competent grammatically, the hook for this story is so far down that it is hard to determine whether to continue.

The characters, for such a long story, are rather flat, never quite engaging. The attention to background somewhat overwhelms the telling of the story rather than providing verisimilitude.

The setting is unusual (good). The black box twist is nicely done, albeit a bit black boxy itself. There is much you could do with your themes. If you were to get a little deeper into your characters' heads, and take the reader with you, this could be a truly intriguing story. As is, I feel that much of your writing has deeper textures that a reader cannot be expected to fill in.

You have talent and an eye for detail that could develop into a first class tale teller.

Comment by Paula Jutras on 12/06/01
Interesting how the box opened on it own and how even the most infertile women can become pregnant in your story. Glad it wasn't much longer than it was since I don't normally read stories marked over 100k.   Even being over 70 like yours is pushing it since I prefer to read like I write - short tales. Unless the summary really catch my interest. Good work here.



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