Studying Abroad

by Karen Elizabeth L.

 

My family and I were moving to the Phoenix area where Dad had landed a very good job. John, my best friend, had graduated two years early and was now a student at the University of Phoenix majoring in Psychology. When he heard that we were moving out to the area, he asked if he could see my folks and me before we moved. Something about helping him with a research project. He said that completion of this project would mean a great deal to him and that there was even money in it for me if I helped. I’m a sucker for easy money so I agreed.

The money part was what interested me, I really had no inclination towards becoming a lab rat but there weren’t many things I wouldn’t do for a buck. I wanted to go to college but my family didn’t have the finances to afford it and I hated to take out loans, which I figured I’d be paying back twenty years after I graduated.

When John finished explaining his project though, I knew that at least there was one thing I wouldn’t do for money – his project!

"That’s hilarious," My dad howled after John explained how I could help. "Hell, I’d sort of love to see it, he has been such an arrogant little so and so over the years!"

"Is something like that legal?" Mom asked, her eyes wide in amazement. "How would you ever get away with it?"

"It’s perfectly legal Mrs. Belmont," John assured her. "The university would take care of all of the medical and legal details as well as giving Tom here a generous stipend."

"Stipend, for what they want me to do?" I shook my head, shocked that my family wasn’t sticking up for me. "Does anyone realize exactly what I’d have to do to earn it?"

"You’d certainly have to behave yourself for a while Tom," Dad said with a touch of curiosity to his voice. "It might help to settle you down a bit."

"Come on everyone, this is crazy, you can’t do what you’re talking about!" I said exasperatedly.

"It would be a big help to me Tom and you’ll be well taken care of if you say yes." John argued.

"How well would I be taken care of?" I asked before thinking.

"For every month you’ll be given five hundred dollars, after six months you’d get one thousand dollars and at the end you’ll be given a full scholarship to the university." John shrugged as though we were talking nickels and dimes.

My eyes widened as I rang up the total in my head.

"Every six months I’ll make three thousand plus an extra thousand bonus, that’s thirty two grand total?"

John looked at me and laughed. "Close your mouth before flies get in. That’s chump change for university projects."

"All I have to do is go back to high school?"
"As a girl Tom, you have to spend four years living as a girl." John emphasized. "You’re height and weight would be an asset for once and the university would take care of all the other changes."

"How drastic would these changes be?" I asked. "Just in case I would want to change my mind."

"You wouldn’t lose anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. A little plastic surgery to tuck things away and make you look realistic, implants to enhance your bust, and small dosages of estrogen to help fill you out a bit."

"When he graduates can he be a boy again?" Dad asked before I could.

"I checked everything out very thoroughly before I came here," John smiled. "He can call it quits at any time, all of the changes will be reversed and no one would ever know the difference."

"It’s up to you Tom," Dad told me. "It sounds foolproof; you’d be helping John in his studies, you’d have a chance to fix the bad grades you have, you stand to make quite a bit of money, and your college education would be paid of."

"But high school again, and as a girl? Why couldn’t it be college?" I whined, wanting the money but not what I’d have to do to earn it.

"The study is to see if gender roles are learned or natural," Tom patiently explained. "Girls develop physically and mentally as women during their high school years. It’s when they learn what will be expected of them and how they will handle their lives. If gender roles are learned, that’s when they’re learned."

"So what if they are?" I wasn’t sure where all this was leading. "What happens to me?"
"If gender roles are learned, as I think they are," John continued. "With everyone treating you as a girl you should begin to respond like one. Once the experiment is over, you’ll switch right back to being a boy."

"Okay, six million dollar question – what if you’re wrong?"

"Then you’ll really earn your money trying to fit in as a girl." John shrugged. "Plenty of guys pass themselves off as women every day so it can be done. If you find yourself thinking like a teenage girl; longing for the Backstreet Boys, thinking that guys are cute, things like that, then I’m right."

"You did say this was worth thirty two grand, right? And a scholarship?" I knew I should have run, but I couldn’t think with all of those dollar signs crowding my brain.

"By the way," He said casually to mom and dad. "There’s a two hundred dollar a month clothing allowance."

I saw trouble brewing in my parent’s eyes. They’d turn me into a sweet girl for four years and wouldn’t have to pay a cent to clothe me. How could they lose? Then again, I could coast through High School again, and make a mint doing it. How could I lose?

"Why not just get a fourteen year old boy to do it?" I asked suspiciously. "Wouldn’t that be simpler than trying to make me younger and a girl?"

Tom shook his head. "We might run into legal problems with a minor, you’re eighteen and can legally decide for yourself."

"Why me though? There must be other guys who need money?"

Tom looked at me in silence for a few minutes. "Because you’d easily fit in, okay? I hoped you wouldn’t ask, that you’d just go for the money but if you have to know it’s because you look enough like a girl to pass without too much trouble. You’re short, you already have long hair, not much in the way of muscles, and you have little if any body hair. Puberty hasn’t been kind to you but this could help make up for it."

"Just think of it as studying abroad" He joked rather lamely. "With you as the broad!"

I felt insulted, but only for a moment, the money was just too good and since no one would know….

"All right," I sighed, feigning indifference. "Who do I need to see to sign up?"

"I just happen to have the papers with me." Tom grinned.

What made you think I’d go along?" I asked as I read over the papers.

"The money!" Tom and my parents answered in unison.

They were right; I checked everything and it was just as Tom had promised so I signed. If I had to spend the next four years as a girl, at least I’d be a very well off girl!

Two days later Tom sent me all the information on where I would go to start my new life. Within a month I’d have the physical characteristics of a fourteen year old girl; thirty-two A cup breasts and realistic looking and even partially functional female genitals. Before I had breast implants done the small amount of male hormones I my body was producing were blocked. They enhanced my feminine looks by adding a little more fat to my hips and butt, and caused my breasts to start to develop. By the start of school, I’d be pretty much indistinguishable from your average fourteen-year-old girl.

I was lying in a hospital bed; ready to be operated on when I had doubts about what I was about to do.

"I don’t want…" I managed to whisper hoarsely just before the lights went out.

I wanted to scream when I woke up and realized that I was now a cute teenage girl.

"It’s all done sweetie," Mom said as she ran her fingers through my hair.

I looked at the bandages on my chest and wished I had more brains than greed.

"I guess it’s too late to change my mind?" I asked groggily.

"Don’t worry honey, you’re going to have a great time, I can’t wait to take you shopping and get your hair done.

"Do I have to mom?" I pleaded. "I don’t think I want to get that far into this stuff, you know?

"Just trust me sweetie, you’re going to love being pampered at the beauty shop and the stores are just loaded with pretty outfits for fall!"

I wished that I could share in mom’s excitement but I kept worrying that I had made a big mistake and that thirty two inches and an A cup was the exact size of my mistake!

When I was released from the hospital a few days later mom threw herself into the task of turning me into the sweetest fourteen-year-old girl that ever existed. While I was home recovering she was by my side asking my opinion of different outfits featured in magazines such as "Teen". We went through those magazines from cover to cover, reviewing outfits, hairstyle, makeup, and even the columns where girls wrote in to talk about problems with their families and boyfriends. After a couple of weeks I felt certain that I could hold my own in a conversation with any girl. I knew about the hottest boy-bands, the cutest movie stars, the most to-die-for fashions, I even practiced talking the way girls did in the magazines and on TV shows until it seemed to come naturally for me.

I guess it was because they shut off my body’s normal supply of male hormones but I started to feel different somehow. I can’t really describe the feelings; I felt really peaceful most of the time yet sometimes I got really bummed out for no reason. Once in a while I even found myself looking in a mirror and wondering if I was really pretty? Was my nose too big or were my breasts too small? Maybe I could dye my hair blonde; wouldn’t that be so cool, to be a blonde?

One day after we’d moved I was looking through one of my magazines.

"You’re not really going to make me wear clothes like this, are you?" I pointed to a model with a top that barely covered her breasts and jeans that were low enough to be indecent. "I’d feel like a jerk running around in tight jeans, short jerseys, looking like Jailbait."

"It’s what girls your age wear honey but you’re right, I don’t my daughter looking like a tramp. We’ll get you some pretty outfits that will show everyone how pretty you are without showing too much." Mom said as we boxed up my old clothes, preparing to move. I went to pick up a box of clothes but she stopped me.

"That’s work for a man, we’ll get your dad to handle it." She told me.

"But I can handle it mom," I protested, hoping to hang onto some shred of my masculinity.

"I’d like you to call me Mother from now on," Mom insisted as she shooed me away from the box. "By the way, what name will you use?"

I hadn’t given any thought to a new name but mom was right, I couldn’t very well be a girl named Tom, could I?

"I don’t know, I guess I’m having trouble thinking of myself as a girl so I can’t think of any names to use." I admitted.

"Well you’d better start thinking of yourself as a girl young lady," Mom admonished. "You’re going to earn every cent of that money at first. Of course, once you get used to being a girl, it’ll be a breeze. Now, how about Cynthia Lynn for a name?"

"That’s kind of girly, don’t you think?" I was hoping for something a little plainer, like Mary.

"No, I think it’s a lovely name for a lovely girl." Mom said with an air of finality. "Why don’t we get you dressed and let your daddy meet his little girl?"

"No, " I begged. "Please mom, don’t make me call him Daddy, I don’t want to be anyone’s little girl!"

My stomach was churning and my skin was beginning to get clammy. "You know how much he’s gloating about this, don’t make me do it, please?"

"Tom was a real problem for him over the years," Mom reminded me. "He tried to get along with you, to do things with you but you shut him out. Can you blame him for gloating now? I want you to be a good girl for your father to make up for being such a pain before."

Mom was right I guess but I was just trying to be independent, a man on my own. Now I was going to be his little girl and he was going to enjoy it. I had a brief feeling that it would be so nice to make daddy happy.

"Yes mother, I’m sorry. I’ll try to be good for daddy." God, it hurt to say that.

"Everything’s going to be fine Cindy," Mom told me as she selected an outfit for me to wear. "Now pay attention, I’m not going to treat you like a baby and dress you. I’ll teach you how to shave your legs and underarms later but you don’t have enough to worry about for now. You’re a big girl now and I expect you to learn this quickly."

Minutes later mom had me all dolled up in panties, a strapless bra, half-slip, and pantyhose and was curling my hair.

"You‘re lucky to have such beautiful hair Cindy," she smiled as she rolled my long hair onto heated curlers. "You’ll be able to set it in so many pretty styles."

While we waited for my hair to finish curling mom showed me how to apply makeup.

"You’re too young for a lot of makeup Cindy but a little eye shadow, blush, and lipstick will bring out your best features without making you into a little tramp. We’ll use a lighter shade at the corners of your eyes to make them seem bigger and a darker lip-liner to make your lips seem fuller and more kissable"

"No, please mom, I don’t want kissable lips. Why do I have to bother with this stuff anyways?"

"It’s all part of being a girl Cindy," Mom brushed aside my objections as she brushed lipstick over my newly outlined lips.

She hummed and smiled as she gave me lips that I’d have killed to see and kiss on a girl.

After the makeup, mom had me hold up my arms so that she could slide a lilac colored dress with spaghetti straps over my head. The lingerie was a bit small for her based on what I’d seen in the laundry over the years and the dress was obviously a style for young girls. Mom had been shopping!

"You bought these things for me, didn’t you?" I asked meekly while stepping into a pair of shoes that perfectly matched the dress I wore.

"Just a few outfits to get you started, I thought you’d rather select most of your new outfits yourself." She smiled.

"Do you really think I did the right thing mom, I mean mother? I asked hopefully as I stared into the full-length mirror on my closet door. "John’s always been a big help getting me through my classes but I’m just not sure if I should be doing this."

I was having a tough time adjusting to the clothes I wore; the underwear fit me like a second skin and felt better than anything I’d ever worn before. The bra was tight against my chest but the support it gave my small breasts made me feel strangely secure; without anything hanging between my legs all of my concerns seem to be for the comfort of my breasts.

"I thought it was very sweet of you to agree Cindy," Mom said as she brushed out my hair. "It’s an unusual idea but it’s very interesting. Personally, I think that the way a person grows up does influence how masculine or feminine they become. If a girl grows up in a family with several sisters, like I did, she learns to be more feminine than a girl who grows up with just a mother. Of course, it also depends on how the mother treats the girls as she grows up. Girls that are expected to be sugar and spice will turn out that way."

"Is that what you’re going to do to me?" I suddenly lashed out. "Treat me all girly and hope I’ll turn out like a little princess?"

"Calm down Cindy," Mom said quietly as she finished brushing out my hair and pinning a small lilac bow into it. "I think it would be wonderful to have a daughter who enjoyed looking pretty and acting like a young lady but that’s up to you; remember, you’re in control and anytime you feel that you can’t handle it anymore, you can pull the plug."

"That’s right, I can, can’t I!" I exclaimed happily. There it was; a ray of sunshine peeking through the pink clouds surrounding me. "You can try all that you like but I’ll never really be a girl, I can take anything you can dish out."

"I accept your challenge Cindy," Mom laughed. "Now let’s go show your father his pretty new daughter!"

"Is that really necessary mother? I feel embarrassed enough standing here dressed like this, I don’t think I could stand having dad see me like this."

"He’ll see you eventually Cindy. I want my daughter’s debut to be special which is why I bought you these clothes. Now be a good girl and show your daddy how pretty you are."

I still wanted to run and hide, to take off these silly clothes and put my pants on again. The trouble was that having accepted an advance payment for the first six months of the study I would either have to go through with being a girl for six months or pay the money back. Of course, paying the money back would be admitting defeat and my pride wouldn’t allow that to happen.

I swallowed hard and placed my hands behind my back trying to strike a girlish pose.

"Yes mother, I want to look nice for daddy." I smiled and swayed like I’d seen girls do. "Do you think he’ll like the way I look?"

"Of course he will. You have the potential to be a very pretty young lady Cindy," Mom smiled as she took my hand. "This isn’t even the start of the new you."

There it was again, that little bit of excitement I felt when mom said that I could be pretty. What was going on in my head?

"Honey, come meet our daughter Cynthia Lynn." Mom called out as we walked down the steps. "She’s a real cutie pie!"

Dad’s eyes grew wide as he watched mom and I come down the steps. "You aren’t kidding," He whistled softly and held his hand out to me.

"You look very nice Cindy," He said with a smile. "No one would ever suspect that you were a boy."

I was surprised that he didn’t fall on the floor laughing when he saw me. Why was he acting so nice and why did it I like it?

"I still am daddy," I quickly pointed out. "I’m just trying to help out a friend, remember?"

"You really can’t expect me to think of you as a boy when you look like this Cindy." Dad shrugged his shoulders. "No, you’re way too pretty to be a boy. By the way, I like being called Daddy, it reminds me of when you were little and still enjoyed spending time with me."

"I think Cindy will be spending a lot more time with us than Tom did," Mom grinned. "She and I are going shopping later, right sweetie?
I was stuck and my parents were taking every advantage of my misfortune. Dad was treating me like a little kid, mom was making me into her own little Barbie doll to dress in frilly outfits, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. I had volunteered to be a fourteen-year-old girl and as far as my parents were concerned, that’s what I was. The independence I had fought for was gone and it was my fault. I had better get used to being a kid again.

"I let her wear a little makeup this time," Mom explained to dad. "But I’ve explained to her that she will not be allowed to run around, looking like some tramp. She’s going to be every inch a proper young lady."

"That means listening to what we say and doing exactly what your mom and I tell you to do young lady, is that clear?" Dad asked, emphasizing the "Young Lady" part. His tone was firm, yet friendly, He wasn’t at all upset with me; he just seemed to be explaining things to a headstrong daughter.

I knew there was no challenging my father while I was wearing a dress and makeup. I’d just have to get used to being his little girl.

"Yes Daddy," I said softly. "I’ll be a good girl, I promise."

"Mother, what about my old clothes? Maybe I could use them for working around the house."

I had your father donate all of your old clothes to Goodwill honey," Mom smiled. "No daughter of mine is going to run around in boy’s clothes.

"You agreed to this Cindy," Dad laughed. "I never in a million years expected to see my eighteen year old son dressed up and acting like a young girl but here you are and this is how you’ll stay as long as you’re in that program. If you wore boy’s clothes you might be tempted to act like a boy, which could screw up the experiment for John. Acting like a boy might also cause people to wonder about you and I’m sure you wouldn’t want that to happen, would you now?"

Dad sure knew how to grab my attention! I’d never live it down if anyone ever found out that I was pretending to be a girl; I’d have to do my best to make people believe I really was a girl and he knew it.

"No daddy, I wouldn’t want that," I said softly, trying to make myself sound like a girl. "I’ll do what ever you and mother say, I promise."

"Good girl," Dad leaned over and kissed me. "Now why don’t you girls go shopping for some pretty clothes? You can model them for me later, okay?"

Dad had me over a barrel but I had to put up with it now that I was a sweet little girl. I wasn’t beaten yet though!

"I love you daddy!" I giggled and kissed him on the cheek. You want a sweet little girl daddy dear? Well hang onto your hat ‘cause I’m going to make Shirley Temple look like Sylvester Stallone. We’d see how he liked that!

"Come on mother, I can’t wait to see all the pretty clothes at the mall!" I sang out as I took mom’s hand.

I looked back at dad and flashed him a smile. "Maybe there will be some cute boys there too!"

Dad wasn’t fazed. "I’m sure there will be Cindy," He laughed. "Have a good time!"

"No dating until you’re sixteen young lady," Mom said firmly as we drove to the mall. "And then the boy had best come to the door to pick you up!"

"Mother please," I sighed. I was just joking."

"I wasn’t," Mom shrugged. "As pretty as you are, boys are going to be interested."

"I’d never date another boy, no way!" I vowed. "That would be going too far."

"That’s up to you to decide Cindy," She smiled mysteriously. "But I’ll bet that if you’re still a girl when you‘re sixteen, you’d be only too happy to go out with a cute boy."

"No chance of that mom," I explained with conviction. "No matter what, I’ll always be a boy in my head."

"We’ll see," Mom smiled and nodded her head. "We’ll see."

I was trembling as mom pulled into the parking lot at the mall. If anyone saw through my disguise I was toast!

Mom seemed to be able to sense my apprehension.

"Calm down Cindy, you look exactly like any other girl shopping with her mom, no one will notice." She said softly, calming my fears. "Do you want to check your makeup before we go in?"

I nodded and quickly gave myself a once over. Was I kidding myself or did I really look like a teenage girl? There was only one way to tell.

"Okay mother," I said after a deep breath. "I’m ready."

People passed us as we entered the mall but except for some girls checking out my outfit and boys checking me out, no one seemed to care.

"You’re doing just fine Cindy," She whispered. "Keep your head up, move your arms a little more, that’s a girl."

I followed mom’s every suggestion trying to fit in with the other girls I saw. It wasn’t until I was in the middle of a department stores lingerie section that I realized that mom had gotten me to forget that I wasn’t a girl. Looking around at all of the lace, satin, and nylon brought me back to reality in a hurry.

"This is embarrassing mother," I whispered as mom held up a peach colored bra with lace-covered cups. "Couldn’t we just shop through the catalog?"

"Why should you be embarrassed Cindy?" Mom asked sweetly. "Those other girls don’t seem like they’re embarrassed, do they?" She asked, nodding towards a group of girls who seemed to be having a fun time choosing sexy looking panties.

"But they’re…" I started to say.

"And so are you," Mom corrected me before I could finish. "You need the same things as any other girl - slips, bra, panties, stockings, so why shouldn’t you enjoy shopping for them?

"I can’t believe this is happening," I whispered. "I’ve never been this scared before in my life."

"Relax honey, think about how nice your new clothes feel. Now imagine how nice this bra would feel as it supports your breasts."

I started to rub my fingers across the satin fabric of the bra and realized that mom was right; it really would feel so soft and comfortable as it held my breasts in place.

"You’re right," I smiled with a bit of a guilty look on my face. "It would be just so dreamy to wear!"

Mom broke into a huge grin. "You’re going to have the time of your life Cindy; you’ll get to wear such pretty clothes and feel like a real princess."

"I know mother," I said as I gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "It all seems so strange to me but if I’m going to be a girl, I want to look pretty and wear all kinds of neat stuff."

"That’s what I want to hear baby," Mom squeezed my hand. "Do you want to pick out your own clothes?"

"Oh yes mother," I prattled. "I think that would be just so cool. But I could use a little help if you don’t mind?"

Mom and I bonded like a mother and daughter as we checked out rack after rack of pretty lingerie. I reached for some cotton panties but mom took them from me and laughed.

"You wore cotton for eighteen years, now I want you to go all girly."

"What do you think of these?" She asked; holding up several pairs made entirely of stretch lace. "Your father would choke if he saw his little girl in those!"

"He’s not the only one," I gasped as she handed me the panties. "I could never wear these!"

"And why not?" Mom teased. "Afraid you might like them?"

"Don’t be ridiculous," I whispered. "I know that wouldn’t happen; I’m just afraid of what daddy would think. I’m supposed to be a good little girl, remember?"

"You’d better be," Mom winked. "Or your father might spank you; just make sure you’re not wearing those panties if he does!"

And so ended that argument. Mom insisted on helping me pick out all kinds of pretty underwear; I chose a few white bras for school; at her insistence I chose the softest, silkiest cups I could find. Mom told me that I should buy nothing but the best for my breasts. I didn’t get a single pair of cotton panties; mom said that the satin, lace, and nylon ones were just too scrumptious to pass up. I’d need a few slips to go with my dresses so I found some really cute black and white ones with lots of lace at the bottom, they made me blush just looking at them. It was embarrassing yet strangely exciting to be picking out frilly underwear; if I was just trying to teach dad a lesson then why was I starting to enjoy it so much?

After we finished with the lingerie we hurried over to see how much we could spend on dresses and stuff for outside of school.

"I saw this in "Teen" last month, isn’t is hot?" I asked as I held a tiger striped dress against me.

"Too hot for you young lady." Mom frowned. "Remember what I said about not being a tramp?"

She then held up a pink dress with a square cut neckline. "How about this one?"

It was plain but there was something about it that appealed to me. "Should I try it on?"

"Why not?" Mom nodded. "But take a couple of outfits to make it worth the trip."

After a little more shopping I was off to the fitting room with the pink dress, a black one, several skirts, and a couple of tops. I felt a little strange passing other girls on my way in but I was supposed to be a girl now too so I kept walking.

I finally settled on the pink and black dresses along with several skirts that had a sheer hem that ended just below a liner. They looked sexy and revealing even though there wasn’t anything naughty about them; I loved the look on girls and was amazed to find that I now looked just as good in those dresses. It hurt to admit it but I made a pretty cute looking girl.

My new tops were cute, a few had kittens and things like that, but the one that I knew I had to buy was the one that said "Daddy’s Girl" in sparkle.

"I can’t wait to see your father’s face when he sees that one," Mom laughed. "It will make his whole day, I’m sure of that."

"I hope so mother," I smiled. "I know I’ve been a problem in the past but I’m going to try to be the sweetest daughter he can imagine now."

Mom raised an eyebrow. "Any particular reason?"

"I bit my lower lip and smiled deviously. "Revenge, sort of. He thinks it’s funny that I’m helping John like this after I was such a pain to him Well now I plan to be the sweetest little girl imaginable and see how he likes that!"

"Be nice to him Cindy, he really cares about you." Mom advised.

I thought about it for a moment then held up the T Shirt and smiled. "Okay, but I hope he appreciates it."

As soon as we got home I hurried over and gave my dad a big kiss and hug.

"I bought all kinds of cool stuff daddy, I can’t wait to show you!" I said excitedly. "Wait until you see the pretty dress I bought."

I rushed of to my room and then slipped off my dress and pantyhose. I quickly put all of my sexy new panties into the back of my drawer but kept out the black lace pair. I pulled off the panties I was wearing, tossed them into the hamper and slowly pulled the new ones up. I felt a chill run up my spine as I admired myself in the mirror.

Strange thoughts seemed to pop into my head. "What would John think if he knew how wholeheartedly I was getting into the experiment? I’d probably have to tell him about the clothes, but I wouldn’t mention the panties. We were friends as boys but I was a girl now and good girls like me didn’t go showing off their panties to boys."

I couldn’t imagine why I seemed to think of myself as a girl all of a sudden but the goofy thoughts wouldn’t go away. I was stuck with them but they didn’t seem all that bad.

"I hope daddy thinks I look nice," I thought as I lowered my slip, pulled on my pantyhose and the pink dress. It seemed important to me to have his approval, maybe because I had hurt him before. I hoped he wouldn’t laugh or make and smart remarks though; I’d be a good daughter if he’d give me a chance.

I freshened up my makeup just like mom had shown me and went to model for dad.

"You look very pretty Cindy," He beamed as I walked into the room. "That dress is just perfect on you, it shows off your pretty legs without being too short. You’re going to have boys falling over their tongues when they see you!"

"Daddy!" I exclaimed. "I don’t want to have to deal with boys, it’s tough enough getting used to being a girl without having to worry about boys too."

"Sorry precious," He pulled me close and gave me a hug and kiss. "You’re such a pretty girl that boys won’t be able to help themselves. If you stay as a girl for long, you’ll find that out for yourself."

"Oh crap," I blurted. "I didn’t think about that. Why didn’t anyone warn me?"

"We thought you knew Cindy," Dad said gently. "Of course no one expected you to be so pretty."

""Do you really think I’m pretty daddy?" I asked in amazement. He didn’t sound as though he was teasing me, he really sounded serious.

Dad lifted my chin and kissed me on the forehead.

"Of course I do Cindy." He said softly as he hugged me. "Please don’t take this wrong but you’re too pretty to be a boy. You should consider staying this way forever."

"Forever?" I gulped. "You mean never being a boy again?"

"Yes honey, forever," He kissed my forehead again. "No one would ever need to know that you used to be a boy. You could be my little girl until you meet a boy and fall in love."

"I don’t know daddy, I’ll think about it, okay?" I asked.

"What ever you decide is fine with us Cindy," Mom called as I left the room confused and upset.

Why would my parents want me to become a girl permanently, didn’t they love the son they had? I was just trying to help out a friend, got involved in a crazy project and now my family thinks I should be a girl. Worse yet, I wasn’t sure it was such a bad idea. I mean the clothes are so comfy and feel so nice. I’ve never been this close to mom before and I did sort of like it when daddy said that I was pretty. I couldn’t help myself, I was so upset that I threw myself on my bed and cried my eyes out.

There was a gentle knocking on my door a little while later.

"Could we talk Cindy?" Mom called through the door.

"We didn’t mean to upset you honey," She said as she ran a brush through my hair. "Daddy and I had a long talk and he asked me to explain so that he wouldn’t hurt you again. He had been so upset with you over the last few years and he didn’t know how to reach you. Every time he wanted to do something with you, you shut him out. He couldn’t talk to you because you acted so arrogant; always putting other people down and making yourself seem so great. Suddenly he has a daughter, prettier than he ever imagined, and sweeter than he could have hoped for. It’s just natural for him to want to keep that sweet girl around, isn’t it? And since you are so pretty, he thought it would be a compliment to tell you that you should become a girl permanently."

"But mother, it’s just an experiment to help John, that’s all." I sniffed. "I never wanted to be a girl, I never snuck any of your clothes to wear or anything. Since I’m stuck like this for a while and the clothes do feel so nice, I thought I’d just have some fun. I never expected that you and daddy would want a daughter instead of a son."

"I’m sorry it happened like this too Cindy," Mom dried my eyes with a tissue. "I would have loved having a pretty daughter to do things with and when I saw how pretty you were, I guess I went a little overboard too. Forgive us?"

I waited for a few seconds before I threw my arms around her and hugged her.

"I can’t stay mad at you guys," I told her as we hugged. "I’ve never felt closer to you than I have since I became a girl and it’s kind of fun being daddy’s girl. I forgive you but please let me decide on when the experiment will end, okay?"

We agreed and mom helped me freshen up so that I could model a few more outfits for her and daddy who was happy that his little girl wasn’t mad at him anymore. Just to show him that I forgave him, I wore a pair of low cut jeans and my "Daddy’s Girl" t-shirt as my last outfit. It was the first time I’d ever seen him cry.

John stopped by a few days later to see how I was adjusting. I met him at the door wearing my new pink dress, my hair hanging loose past my shoulders, and just a little makeup.

"Hi, I’m looking for the Belmont’s" He said as I opened the door.

"You found us John," I said cheerily. "Come on in, I’ll tell mother and daddy that you’re here."

"Tom?" He asked in a confused tone. "Is that you?"

"No silly," I laughed as I held my hands in front of me and rocked on my heels. "I’m Cindy, Tom’s little sister. He decided not to come with us."

"I see you’ve met our lovely daughter," Dad said as he came to the door. "She’s going to be a heartbreaker, isn’t she?"

"Oh my God, I don’t believe it." John didn’t take his eyes off me as he walked into the house. "You are so pretty Cindy, could I take your picture, for my project?"

"Okay!" I giggled. "Mother and daddy have been taking lots of pictures of me so I guess it’s okay for you to take one too."

"This is unreal," He muttered as he fished his camera from his briefcase. "You look so realistic, you even act and sound like a girl."

"I’ve been practicing," I smiled and tossed my head to get hair out of my face. "Pretty good huh?"

"You’re fantastic, no one will ever believe that you’re a guy."

"She’s not a guy John," Dad quickly corrected. "She’s our fourteen year old daughter Cynthia Lynn."

"I’ll say," John murmured as he snapped pictures of me. "Christ Cindy, you’re everything a teenage boy could want."

John stayed and had dinner with us so that he could interview me. I had to answer all kinds of question on what it felt like to be treated like a girl – wonderful, how did I feel about wearing girl’s clothes – loved them, and did I think I’d stay this way – absolutely not.

"This is a blast John, it’s so cool to dress up in pretty clothes and stuff but I don’t plan on becoming a girl." I said with a smile. "I just have to keep an eye on mother and daddy though just to make sure they don’t cart me off to get a complete sex change."

Mom and daddy just smiled but I thought I saw a flicker in their eyes that said I wasn’t all that wrong.

What was that look I saw in John’s eyes though as he looked at my legs? It couldn’t have been the same one I was used to seeing when we checked out girls at the mall, could it? I wrote it off, thanked him for stopping over and promised to keep him up to date on what was happening in my life. School would start in a few weeks and then I’d see what it was like to really be a girl when I had to shower after gym class.

Lots of crazy, scary, thoughts would pop into my head when I was alone. I’d be watching TV and suddenly find myself wondering what I’d look like in the outfit an actress wore or what it would be like to be kissed by the leading man in a movie. I found that I was also getting much more interested in fashion and hairstyles but that wasn’t the worst of it.

"Mother, may I buy a bikini please?" I blurted out one night as I helped with dishes. "I’d like to get a nice tan like some of the girls I see at the mall."

Mom never even batted an eye.

"As long as it’s not too sexy," She warned. "You know your father wouldn’t like that."

"I promise mother, I saw a really cute one in Sunday’s paper, want me to show it to you?"

I raced to get the ad and show her the really cute bikini I wanted; black with yellow trim, I just knew I’d look good in it.

As I picked up the paper though I realized what I was doing and quickly laid it back down.

"Problems?" Mom asked from behind me.

"I don’t want a bikini mom, not really." I started to cry. "I don’t know why I even asked. I couldn’t seem to help myself."

"Don’t cry Cindy," Mom said softly as she hugged me. "You’re just feeling what any other girl your age would feel; the need to feel pretty and sexy."

"But I’m not a real girl yet I can’t stop feeling this way."

"Your body’s not producing enough male hormones to prevent you from thinking this way dear," She advised. "Once you start taking female hormones you’ll feel even more like a girl; you’ll want to look even prettier and you’ll even enjoy it when boys look at you. I wouldn’t be too surprised if you even developed a crush on some cute boy."

"How do you know that mother?" I asked. "I mean that’s what this whole experiment is for; to try to determine that."

"It must be a group of men in charge of the experiment honey," She laughed. "Any woman could have told them what would happen if you gave a boy female hormones; he’d start to think of himself as a girl after a little while. You’re just feeling the effects of cutting back on your male hormones; wait until you start taking estrogen."

"I’m scared mother," I whimpered. "I don’t want to be a girl."

"It’s only for a little while baby and then you can be a boy again. A boy with a fat bank account and a free college education."

I thought about what she said; I was supposed to start taking female hormones in a few weeks, mom had predicted that would be when the changes would really start. I should call the whole thing off before I end up wanting to stay this way.

I should call it off but I’m greedy. The money would be there waiting for me; all I had to do was to survive four years as a high school girl. I felt sure that I could now that I knew what to expect. I was getting upset because I hadn’t expected the feelings, I told myself. Now that I know what to expect, I’ll be okay.

"Will you help me mother," I asked in a small voice. "I want to keep going."

Mom nodded. "I figured you would Cindy and yes, I’ll help. Why don’t we start with that bikini?"

I smiled, hugged mom and handed her the ad.

"What do you think of your little girl now daddy?" I asked the next day as I modeled my new bikini. "Hot, isn’t she?"

"Isn’t that a little too sexy for a girl your age?" He asked when he recovered his breath.

"Not really daddy, it’s not a thong or anything like that." I pouted. It was the prettiest one they had; I felt so pretty wearing it, and I was determined to keep it.

Dad stared at me for a little longer then smiled. "Okay, you can keep it. You look so pretty in it that it would be a shame to make you take it back."

"Thank you daddy!" I raced over and gave him a kiss. "You’re really sweet, do you know that?"

"You’re really spoiled, do you know that?" He asked as I made myself comfortable on a lounge chair in the yard.

"What would the guys back home think if they could see me now?" I giggled to myself as I applied suntan lotion "They’d probably wonder who the hot looking jailbait was!"

With mom’s support I had a great time in the last couple of weeks before school started. I started taking female hormones; bought a few more bikinis, and even made a few girl friends I met while shopping at the mall. For my birthday, instead of the sports car Tom had his eye on, I ended up with pierced ears and a half dozen sets of earrings. It amazed me that not only didn’t I mind the earrings; I was thrilled to get such a pretty gift.

We were all checking out the same rack of tops when I bumped into one of the girls.

"Aren’t these great?" I asked. "I’ve got a pair of jeans at home that will look so good with this one."

"Me too," The girl grinned. "And I have a denim skirt that just has to have this top."

We compared tops, talked about our favorite outfits and quickly became friends.

Lori, my new friend, quickly introduced me to he friends and I was instantly accepted as one of the girls.

It was a shame in a way because any one of those girls would have made me go nuts as Tom. I would have taken my time and gone out of my way to get to know them and possibly made a fool out of myself trying. Now, as another girl, we became friends in a minute. Life wasn’t fair.

Life wasn’t fair but it was getting to be a whole lot of fun. My friends and I had a great time shopping and trying on clothes that our parents would never have allowed us to consider. I found a micro-miniskirt that barely covered my butt but showed off my legs in a way that I’m sure would have started any guy drooling.

"You look totally hot in that skirt!" One girl giggled as I preened in front of a mirror. "You should buy it."

"My mom would kill me and daddy would have a heart attack if they ever saw me in anything this sexy." I laughed. "But you are right, I do look hot."

Another girl couldn’t resist a pair of hot pants which, combined with her heels and well developed body for a fourteen year old, should have started my heart pounding. Unfortunately, I guess because my hormones were being blocked, the best I could do was to tell her how great she looked. I needed another good cry.

By the time we were done, I had three more skirts, two dresses, a pair of low rider jeans that looked pretty good on my newly developed butt and four new friends. We exchanged phone numbers and promised to do another shopping trip before school started.

The only real friend I had as Tom was John so it was sort of a welcome surprise that I was able to pick up new friends so quickly. I felt so good that on my way out I stopped at the makeup counter and picked up a new tube of lip-gloss that I had seen advertised in Teen magazine. Mom had told me that I could wear a little makeup and the color did look really good on me but the real reason I bought it was that I just couldn’t resist; when I wore makeup or heels, I felt pretty and it felt so good to be a girl. Makeup and heels were a part of growing up for a girl; they were just some of the things John had mentioned that were a rite of passage if you were a girl. You went from patent leather Mary-Jane’s to heels that made you feel more like a grown up lady. Wearing makeup did the same thing, it set me apart from the younger girls, the little kids. I was more of a grownup; not a little girl, but a younger version of mom – a woman.

Sure I know it was silly to think of myself as becoming a woman but since I started wearing dresses and looking like a girl, I started to identify with mom. I couldn’t identify and pattern myself after dad the way I once did; I was supposed to become a young woman so patterning myself after a man wouldn’t teach me what I needed to know. Only mom, with her fashion sense, her makeup skills, and her femininity could teach me what I needed to know to be the girl I had to be.

I got a call from Ann, one of the girls I met at the mall, a few days later inviting me to a sleepover at her house. We’d have a lot of fun, she promised, watching movies, doing each other’s hair and nails, and seeing who could stay up the latest. Mom said it was okay to go so she helped me pack up my nightgown, some makeup, curlers, and a couple of outfits in case we went shopping and dropped me off at Ann’s house.

I’d never even been to a sleepover as Tom so I wasn’t sure what to expect but I had so much fun it was totally unreal!

As soon as I got there we stashed all my junk in Ann’s closet and watched three movies in a row. Each had one thing in common, they all had actors who were considered to be total hunks! I didn’t want to stand out from the group so I joined with the other girls oohing and ahhing whenever a scene came up where the actor took off his shirt or did something they thought was sexy. Before long I started getting more involved in the show and noticed that I found the guys cute. I didn’t have to pretend that I was interested in those hunks; they really were making me hot!

During the second movie, a girl named Kelly came over and started brushing out my hair.

"Wanna try a different style? Something sexy?" She asked as she brushed.

"Yeah," I nodded enthusiastically. "Make me hot!"

I ended up with my hair piled on top of head with curly strands framing my face.

"It’s real pretty but there’s something missing." I mused as I examined my new hairdo.

"Makeup!" The other girls called out. "You need to get all prettied up for a hot date!"

My friends waving sponges, eyelash curlers, and brushes besieged me and proceeded to make me over into what they called a "Real Foxy Lady." When they were done, I had to admit that they had done a great job; I didn’t look like fourteen anymore!

"Wouldn’t it be like totally cool to put on one of my mom’s old dresses and stuff to see how foxy you can really look?" Ann asked hopefully.

"I couldn’t possibly look any prettier than this," I said longingly as I gazed at the beautiful girl in the mirror.

While I was busy admiring myself and soaking up the compliments of my girlfriends, Ann had rushed off to gather a few clothes.

"Get undressed," She ordered as she dumped a pile of clothes on the floor. "It’s time to make Cindy into Cinderella!"

I didn’t need to be asked twice, I couldn’t wait to be turned into Cinderella!

I stepped out of my nightgown and was handed something that Ann called a garter belt.

"It’s for when you want to be sexy and wear nylons instead of pantyhose," Another girl told me. "My sister says it drives her husband crazy when she wears one."

They showed me how to put it on, pull the straps through my panties, and attach nylons to it.

"These are so nice," I groaned happily as I rolled the nylons up my legs. "I wish my pantyhose felt like these, I’d never take them off."

"Here, put this on next." Ann said as she handed me a black bra with oodles of lace on it. The cups on the bra were only about half the size of the ones on my bra and they seemed so much bigger until Ann reached in and inserted a couple of pads between the bottom of my breasts and the bra. Suddenly the extra space was taken up by my breasts, which were pushed up and out, making them seem positively enormous.

"What size is this?" I asked as I ran my fingers along the deliciously soft satin and lace cups.

"You’re a thirty six C cup now," Ann tittered. "How’s it feel to be a grown up lady with big boobs?"

"I love it!" I laughed. "I can’t believe it but I love it."

The strange thing was that I did love looking like a grown woman. It made me feel so special to look like my mother and I simply loved the feeling I got when I saw myself in the mirror.

My lingerie was finished off with a black full slip that felt so silky as it slid over my head and then it was time for my dress – a black lace dress that ended at least four inches above my knees.

The outer part of the dress was all black lace covering a silky inner shell. The hem extended a few inches past the shell giving a sexy glimpse of black lace against my nylon-clad legs.

"This is how I’d look if I let things continue after high school," I thought to myself. I took a good hard look at the lady I had become; it was definitely something to think about.

Ann and the others gathered around me to see how I’d react. I threw my arms around them and we all broke into a giggling fit.

We picked another girl and did her up in the same outfit, then another and another until we all had a chance to be foxy ladies.

We had a great time that night, doing each other’s hair and nails, trying on makeup and some other outfits. I can’t remember exactly what I dreamed about that night but I remember feeling really good when I woke up.

I had a lot of fun with my new friends and learned even more about being a girl from them. Sure, mom could teach me a lot but she didn’t know what it was like to be a girl my age, she was an old lady in my eyes and so it was better to learn from my friends. They taught me all kinds of neat stuff like who the most popular guys were at my new school, which teachers were the hardest, and what the latest styles were. Yeah, mom gave me magazines on fashion but they didn’t show what girls in my area were wearing; girls in my area considered some of the stuff in the magazines totally yucky and I couldn’t chance making a mistake and wearing them.

Of course fashion didn’t seem to matter much to my new school. You guessed right, after a summer of learning all about the hottest looks for teenage girls, I was stuck wearing a uniform! My new school outfit wouldn’t be a totally hot pair of low rider jeans and a cropped top; it wouldn’t even be a cute miniskirt and a baby tee. No, I was stuck wearing an ugly looking blue skirt and white blouse. I dressed it up as best I could with satin panties and bras.

I was amazed to find that I was struggling with my courses at school. My grades weren’t too bad the last time I was a freshman but either they changed the courses or I forgot an awful lot! Of course, when I was there the first time there were eight classes a day, now there were only four but they were twice as long making it tough to pay attention.

As time passed I got used to the longer classes but then another distraction popped up – boys!

Yeah, that’s right, boys. It seems that after a few months of female hormones my formerly practical brain was somehow stolen and replaced with the brain of a ditzy, boy crazy, fourteen year old girl!

Boys were everywhere much to my delight; big boys, little boys, all kinds of boys, and all just so damned cute! I tried to concentrate on other things but my attention kept drifting back to cute boys. Every night I swore I’d stop but the next day I’d see a boy that I thought was cute and bingo – I’d start flirting with him!

My flirting was harmless but it drove me crazy. I didn’t want to bother yet I couldn’t seem to stop myself from staring until I got their attention, then smiling at them. I could have written a book from all of the words in the notes I passed to my girlfriends. It wouldn’t have much of a plot, just things like "He’s so dreamy", "Isn’t he a doll", and "What a hunk!"

How was I supposed to go back to being a guy when I couldn’t resist flirting with fourteen-year-old guys who thought I was pretty? When I found myself with my back to the wall talking to some cute guy, I didn’t care! No one ever thought much of me as a boy but suddenly I was popular and I adored it!
School dances became an absolute must for me, I begged and cajoled mom and daddy to take me to every single one fearful that one of the cute guys from school would want to dance with me and I wouldn’t be there. I took a lot of care dressing for the dances; sometimes I wore my tight jeans, other times I’d wear a dress or a cute skirt and top, but I always made sure that everything went together just right so that I’d look my best. I wanted to be the perfect bait to snare unsuspecting boys!

The only problem with my plan for conquering the males of my freshman class turned out to be the males themselves! They were still shy and wanted to hang out together at the dances, leaving me to dance with my girlfriends. At least I got the satisfaction of knowing from their furtive glances and whispers that they thought I was pretty. If I could only get them to dance with me, then maybe I could even get a kiss or two from one.

Yep, that’s right, I wanted to be kissed by a boy. I told you that my new hormones were making me boy crazy and I wasn’t kidding. My grades were turning out worse than before because I couldn’t seem to concentrate when a cute boy was nearby.

John seemed pretty amused by my problems, which really bothered me. He found it awfully funny that his buddy, an eighteen-year-old guy masquerading as a fourteen-year-old girl had become boy crazy! We talked about it often while I was going through that period and I wanted to smack him silly for laughing while I struggled through my grades dropping off and the irresistible urges I had to flirt with boys. I probably would have smacked him too except I kept thinking about how cute he was and wondering if he thought I was pretty.

Funny huh? I’m pretending to be a teenybopper to help my buddy and I end up getting a huge crush on him!

Well, trust me, I wasn’t nearly as amused as John was! There were many times when he came to visit that I hoped he’d ask me for a date or at least tell me how pretty I looked. I always wore my best-looking outfits when he visited, I fixed my hair into different styles to attract his attention, and thank heavens daddy didn’t notice but I even wore a little more makeup and even perfume for John.

It was all a waste though cause John just treated me like his old buddy, laughing and joking about things we did in the past. That’s how he treated me when we first started the experiment but then he changed, and not for the better either. After about six months of seeing me in dresses or sometimes a pair of jeans and one of my Backstreet Boys tee shirts, (yeah, I thought they were so hot!), he actually started to treat me like a little girl! I could tell by the way he looked at me and the way he talked that he was forgetting that I was his old buddy, now it was more like I was his buddy’s little sister. If he was going to think of me as a girl why in the heck couldn’t he at least think of me as a pretty girl? We were really the same age so I just couldn’t think of any good reason for him not asking me for a date. I would have gladly traded my tee shirts and jeans for an evening gown and heels if only he would have asked.

My parents finally got tired of my being boy crazy and had the doctor adjust my prescription for hormones to make me more stable. That bummed me out because with stability came a reduction in my rate of development; I wanted to look totally hot and sexy but now I’d have to settle for just being cute. My dreams of having to wear a thirty-four C cup bra went out the window when my hormones got cut back. I’d probably be a senior before I got decent boobs. Without nice boobs, how would I get a boy’s attention?

The doctor finally got my hormone level set properly by the end of my freshman year. I still got a tingling feeling whenever I looked at a really cute guy but it was a whole lot easier to concentrate in school, which helped my grades and kept me from having to be a freshman for the third time in my life. I guess it’s also good that I still enjoyed being daddy’s girl, even if I wasn’t sure why. Daddy seemed happy, mom was happy, so why worry, right?

Even though I was a little upset at first about my breast development I was happy that I no longer felt like throwing John down and smothering him with kisses every time we talked. After all I was going to be his buddy again when this silly experiment was over and I didn’t want to have to deal with memories of John holding and kissing me while I sat in his lap. No, it would be tough enough to forget the times I sat there in a pretty dress, flirting with my best friend, and hoping he’d think of me as an attractive girl.

Of course just because daddy didn’t notice what I was up to doesn’t mean I got away with it. No, good old eagle-eye mom had taken everything in and wasn’t about to let me forget about it.

"That was some performance you put on this afternoon," She joked one evening after John had left. "That’s a new dress you’re wearing, you’re makeup’s perfect, and I thought I smelled a little bit of my Chanel perfume."

"I just thought that since we were having company I’d dress up a little bit," I said as innocently as I could manage while trying not to choke. How had she noticed?

"You didn’t wear that much makeup the last time your father took us out to dinner," She said with a knowing smile. "If I didn’t know better I’d swear I was watching a girl who was very interested in attracting a certain boy."

"I thought I was being pretty subtle."

"You’ll get used to it," Mom laughed. "The longer you stay as a girl, the easier it will be to tell when another girl is setting her sights on a boy."

"Okay, you’re right." I admitted. "I’m interested in John. I shouldn’t be, I don’t know why I am, but I can’t stop thinking about what a sweetie he’d be. He seems interested in me and we are the same age, do you think he’d ask me out?"
"You’re thinking with your heart instead of your head Cindy," Mom warned. "It’s a common problem for girls your age. Let’s look at this rationally; the female hormones you’re taking are causing your interest in John, if not for them you’d never give a thought to how cute he is. He’s only interested in you for his project, nothing else. He thinks of you as Tom, his friend who’s helping him out by pretending to be a girl, not a as a pretty girl. Even if you really were a girl, you’re too young for him, physically and emotionally you’re a fourteen-year-old girl and have nothing in common with a guy like John. Even if he started to think of you as a girl, he’d never be interested."

I sat quietly and listened to what mom was telling me but it didn’t make sense; I was sure that I loved John and that he could love me too if we only had a chance. Finally, I couldn’t take anymore and broke into tears.

"But I love him mom, and I’m sure he’d love me if he only really knew me as Cindy and forgot about Tom. I can tell that he’s starting to think of me as a girl, I just need more time, that’s all."

"I’ll make you a deal honey," Mom dried my tears. "If in four years you still want to be Cindy and you’re still interested in John, I’ll help make you so beautiful and irresistible that he’ll beg you to marry him."

All the clouds that darkened my world suddenly vanished and the sun was shining.

"Oh thank you mom," I cried. "I’m sure that I’ll want to stay as Cindy and that would be the most wonderful gift."

"Good, then it’s settled. No more throwing yourself at John until you’re eighteen. Stick with boys your own age until then."

We hugged to seal our agreement.

That’s when my parents had the doctor lower the dosage of my hormones.

I felt a lot better once my hormones were controlled; boys were still cute thank God, but I realized that there was more to life than a cute guy. Like shopping for example!

My girlfriends and I just loved hitting the malls every Saturday to check out the sales. Sometimes we bought a few new outfits but most of the time we just tried on different things and checked out the cute guys who were checking us out. That was what made shopping so cool, we could buy a really hot looking outfit and test it out on the guys in the mall before wearing it to a dance. After all, if the guys at the mall didn’t like the way we looked in something we weren’t going to waste time wearing it to a dance. No way. We’d return the outfit before the ink could dry on our receipts. The guys may have been too shy at the dances but when they got together at the mall they didn’t hesitate to let a girl know if she was hot or not!

The way boys reacted to me took a lot of getting used to at first; I felt real self conscious in a skirt or dress knowing that boys were watching me and remembering how much I used to enjoy seeing girls dressed up. Mom and I had a long talk during which she explained to me that having a boy check me out wasn’t a bad thing; he was looking at me because I made him feel good. She reminded me of how I used to feel when I saw a pretty girl; that was exactly what boys thought of me now. Looking at me was just their way of telling me that I was very pretty and there was certainly nothing wrong with that.

From then on whenever I noticed a boy looking at me I’d look back at him and smile. Some were so shy that they’d quickly turn their heads but once in a while a guy would come over and we’d start talking. I made friends with some really cute guys that way which came in handy at dances when other boys were too shy to ask me to dance.

The hormones and mom combined to make me start to feel really comfortable as a girl and I really started to enjoy dressing up and looking pretty. I had a tough time remembering that I was an eighteen year old guy, being a fourteen year old girl was way more fun!

I learned a lot in my freshman year; by the end I could put together an outfit as well as any other girl, I knew more about makeup and hair care than I ever dreamed possible, and I guess most importantly, I learned emotions were going to be a big part of my life if I continued to live as a girl. I was one of those guys who had always laughed about girls being ruled by their emotions and it wasn’t an easy thing for me to admit that my emotions had actually led me to think that I was in love with John and could convince him to love me. In a matter of months I had been willing to forget all about ever being a boy again; if mom and dad hadn’t intervened I would have made a fool out of myself by and pledged my undying love to another guy.

Yeah, it had been a very strange year but I managed to survive and make a nice chunk of change too. I’d just have to be a little careful but I was sure I could do another three years without any problem.

John was thrilled when I told him that I planned to continue.

"That’s wonderful Cindy, I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate your help." He told me as though talking to a stranger.

"I’ll be glad when it’s over though, sometimes I feel like I’m fitting in too well, you know?"

John got the strangest look on his face. He seemed confused for a few seconds.

"Fitting in too well?" All of a sudden a look of recognition swept across his face.

"Oh damn," He swore. "I’m really sorry, for a second I forgot who you were."

"Don’t ever do that!" I nearly screamed while breaking into tears. "It’s bad enough that my parents have pretty much written Tom off, I don’t want you forgetting about me too."

John reached over and took my hand making me feel strangely at ease.

"Don’t cry Cindy," He said tenderly. "Your parents can’t help themselves; you’re such a sweet girl."

I stared at him and began to sob.

"Ooops, wrong thing to say. Sorry." He quickly apologized.

"You’re forgiven," I sniffled. "But do you see what I mean? You and my parents aren’t the only ones who forget that I’m a guy; sometimes I do too. It’s just so stinking easy to be a girl!"

John looked me over carefully, making me feel very self-conscious.

"Please don’t get mad Cindy but you look and act so much like a girl; you’re not the Tom I used to know. I’d understand if you decide to stay like this."

"I won’t," I said as firmly as a teenage girl could manage. "We’ll go bar hopping and picking up babes when this is all over, you’ll see."

"Atta girl!" John smiled, somewhat condescendingly I felt.

"Oops, did it again." He muttered just before I punched him in the arm.

"Christ, that didn’t work the way I wanted it to." I shook my head as I realized what a girlish gesture it had been.

"Look, if you don’t think you can come out whole, you know, as a guy, then let’s call it off." John offered. "You’re my friend and I don’t want anything to go wrong for you. Take the money you’ve made so far and we’ll call it quits, okay?"

"No, it’s not okay." I shouted. "I can handle it."

John sat and stared for a few seconds.

"It’s your decision," He said slowly. "Just remember, we can stop at any time."

"Three more years," I insisted as I walked him to the door. "I can do it."

I felt doubly bad when he left, It upset me that I didn’t get a goodbye kiss and also that I wanted one. Chalk up another victory for the powers of estrogen to confuse!

I vowed to work hard to keep my girl side from taking over; I’d still wear pretty outfits, it was expected of me as a girl, right? I thought about giving up on makeup, but John did say that I was supposed to do whatever a girl did, and most girls I knew wore makeup, and that meant I should too.

I did wear nothing but cotton panties for a whole month but they just didn’t feel as nice as my nylon and satin ones and since I had to go through with this silly idea anyways I figured I deserved pretty underwear as a treat!

So I pretty much had to wear pretty outfits, makeup, and underwear. It wasn’t my choice; it was something I had to do if I was going to be a girl for the next three years. I was going to give up school dances but that idea upset me so much I wanted to cry.

So there wasn’t a whole lot that I could do to feel less like a girl; some things just had to be and I supposed I’d just have to get used to them.

I started off my sophomore year ragging about wearing uniforms again. Why couldn’t my parents have found a nice public school where I could wear my tight jeans, cropped tops, and sneakers? No, they insisted that their darling little girl waste away in a stuffy, private school in a uniform that would make Britney Spears look like a boy!

Just after I started back to class, John and I got together to discuss my progress over a pizza. Mom and daddy didn’t mind our occasional semi-dates to the local pizza shop; dad thought we were still close buddies and mom felt certain that my hormones had been fine-tuned enough for her to trust me. I told him that I was feeling much better and was no longer afraid that I might be too close to some point of no return.

"If you’re that confident that you can continue why not go all out? He asked over a pizza and soft drink.

"I’m definitely not that kind of girl John!" I huffed. "And daddy would kill you for just suggesting such a thing!
"That’s not what I had in mind!" John practically choked on the bite of pizza he’d just taken. "What kind of lecherous scum do you take me for?"

"One that would ask a fifteen year old girl to go all the way."

"I meant to try doing something ultra-feminine, like becoming a cheerleader for example." I don’t know if he was just upset of if he chose to ignore my describing myself as a fifteen-year-old girl. Either way, it went right past him.

"Sorry, guess my mind’s not on the same wavelength as yours anymore. Mom’s lectures about boys must be having an effect on me."

John took another bite of pizza and seemed to be staring at me.

"Your mom’s right Cindy," He said softly. "You’re a very pretty girl and there will certainly be lots of guys who will want you to go all the way with them. I can see that the hormones have affected you; no matter how much you deny it, you’ve changed - maybe for the better. Be careful with the guys you date; and don’t be afraid to call me if you ever need to talk, okay?"

I was shaken by John’s words. Did he really know how much I was enjoying being a girl? Could he know the turmoil in my head? I was seeing a side of him I never knew existed and it was changing everything I ever thought about him.

"That’s so sweet of you to care John," I smiled. "I’ll be careful. I promised mother and daddy that I’d be a good girl and I won’t let them down. After all, I’ve never been closer to them than I am now and I have you to thank for it."

"You could quit now," He offered. "I think that I have more than enough data to support my theory that a normal guy could be turned into a girl. Quit now and no one will ever no who you were. You can enjoy being a girl and never worry about how you’ll adjust at the end of the experiment."

I took his hand and squeezed it.

"You’re right, I really love being a girl John." I confessed as we stared into each other’s eyes. "I love the pretty clothes and the way people, especially mother and daddy, treat me, but it’s only temporary. I still plan on ending this after I finish high school."

"I can understand that, it must be pretty rough having to shave your legs and wear makeup."

"Not in the least," I laughed, noticing that he wasn’t pulling his hand away. "No more that you mind having to wear those drab suits. It’s just the cost of being a girl and the end result makes it worth the effort."

"It certainly does," John nodded as he continued to stare into my eyes.

He pulled his hand from my grip and gently took mine in his. "It’s a shame you’re fifteen Cindy; I’d love to take you out sometime."

"I’m the same age as you John," I said what I hoped was a seductive voice. "But it would be kinda strange, don’t you think?"

It really ticked me off that I had to discourage John when I would have loved to be his girlfriend.

John squeezed my hand and gave me a friendly kiss on the cheek. Damn, he still thought of me as a kid. Oh well, at least I got a kiss, even if was just a friendly peck on the cheek. I’d work on getting a better one later.

"Tell you what Cindy," He smiled broadly. "If you’re still this beautiful when you’re a senior, I’ll take you to the prom, okay?"

My heart was pounding and my brain was reeling. John had just promised to take me to the prom! I’d never switch back to being a boy now; the idea of wearing a beautiful gown and being held in John’s arms was way too appealing!

"It’s a date and you’d better remember it or I’ll tell my daddy." I tried to make it seem as though I was joking. "He wouldn’t like anyone hurting his little girl."

"Neither would I Cindy," John told me as he helped me with my coat. "You’re far too special a girl to be hurt."

I wrote all about my date with John in my diary; how good it felt when he kissed me on the cheek and how much I wanted to be his girl and then his wife. I knew I’d marry him someday but for now we would have to settle for being "Special Friends".

I did decide to take his advice though; if I was going to be a girl, I was going to be all girl. The next afternoon I hiked over to school and signed up for cheerleading tryouts. I couldn’t wait to show off my uniform for john; we’d always been big on cheerleaders in the old days, now I’d be his fantasy girl and cheer just for my honey!

I secretly checked out Dancercise videos from the library and spent hours practicing and limbering up for Cheerleading tryouts. When the announcement was posted on the board, I was one of the first girls in line. I watched the older girls carefully; memorized all their routines and when it was my turn, I went all out to make the squad.

A few weeks later I rushed home from school, changed into my new uniform and proudly showed off to mom and daddy.

"I made it!" I shouted as I jumped and touched my outspread toes.

"When did this happen?" Daddy asked suspiciously. "You never mentioned wanting to be a cheerleader.

"It was sort of John’s idea, I guess." I said with a shrug. "He wondered if I could handle something as girly as being a cheerleader. I can’t wait to show him!"

"I’d say you’ve made quite an adjustment young lady," Daddy smiled and kissed me. He always made me feel so good when he did that. I loved being daddy’s girl. "Your mom and I will come to every game just to watch you cheer, right dear?"

Mom shook her head as she watched me flipping my skirt back and forth.

"I wouldn’t dream of missing it Cindy. She smiled knowingly. "I never thought I’d see the day when you’d become a cheerleader but I’m very proud of you."

"It also means that I don’t have to wear my uniform to school on game days," I said happily. "I can wear my cheerleading outfit instead and anything that gets me out of that uniform has to be good!"

I was thrilled to be a cheerleader. Not only did I get out of my school uniform on game days, I also got more attention from the boys when I wore my cheerleading outfit. Even though I wore matching pants under my skirt and over my panties, the boys just loved getting a glimpse up my skirt when I practiced on the field. Daddy would have killed me if he knew how much I enjoyed having boys stare at me but I didn’t care; if there were boys watching the other girls and I put a little more into our routines to make them just a little sexier!

I didn’t forget about my stupid uniform completely and one morning when I was doing my usual complaining about my uniform at breakfast one morning when mom shot dad a look and asked if she could tell me their secret.

"You’ve decided to let me go to a public school and get out of this yucky uniform?" I asked hopefully. "Please, please tell me it’s true."

"No, you’re still stuck wearing a uniform Cindy," Mom said as she filled my plate. "But there is a ray of sunshine. Your father is now an executive in his company and has certain social obligations that he will be expected to fulfill. That means we’ll be going to dinner parties and events at a very nice club that he is now a member of. One of those events is a coming out party for the daughters."

"Coming out?" I asked while munching a piece of toast. I don’t know why mom gives me so much to eat, how am I going to keep wearing a size five if I eat everything on my plate? "Isn’t that some sort of Gay thing?"

Dad almost choked on a piece of bacon.

"No it’s not," He sputtered as he sipped his coffee. "Quite the opposite actually. It’s a very special event in which the daughters of the executive staff are presented to the public."

So I’m stupid. I’d never heard the term before and still had no clue what it meant.

"Duh, I think the p0ublic’s already seen me dad. After all, we’ve been living here for a year or so now."

"Could you please explain the concept to her?" Daddy implored mom. "Sometimes I can’t believe she’s not a blonde!"

"Can I dye my hair blonde daddy?" I asked excitedly. "That would be so cool. I’m sure I’d look really hot as a blonde!"

Daddy rolled his eyes.

"Hot, didn’t I have enough headaches with you and boys last year? I could just imagine you as a blonde!"

"Yeah," I giggled as I sipped my juice. "So could I. So can I, please, huh?"

"We’ll have to wait and think about that one Cindy," Mom laughed and moved a strand of my hair out of my face. "It all depends on how you’d look at your Debutante party. Your father and I wouldn’t want you to look like some sort of tramp at such an important event."

"A party, way cool!" I exclaimed in between bites of French Toast. Mom made the best French Toast which really bummed me out totally cause I didn’t want to pork out yet I couldn’t pass up her cooking. "How many kids can I invite? Can I have some boys come too?"

Dad looked at mom and shook his head.

"A Debutante party is when a group of girls your age get all prettied up and are introduced to society. It’s a major event in a young woman’s life; we’ll get you a beautiful gown, you’ll have your hair professionally done, a complete makeover, facial, manicure, pedicure, and the works. We’ll go to a party at the country club; a handsome young man will escort you into the room as your name is announced. The men will clap and congratulate dad on what a beautiful daughter he has, the women will compliment you on your gown and hair, and the young man serving as your escort will be thrilled to be paired off with such a beautiful young woman."

"I get all done up and I get my own guy for an evening?" Now that sounded like something I could live with. "Will he be cute?
"Is that all you ever think of – boys?" Daddy asked. "What about school?"

"Schools okay I guess," I said with a shrug. "Lose the uniforms, toss in a few more cute guys, and it would be better!"

"You’d better settle down soon young lady," Dad said ominously. "Remember, this is just an experiment. In two years you’ll be back in pants."

Why did daddy need to ruin my fun? I knew it was just an experiment, but what an experiment it was! I had more fun in one year as a teenage girl than I ever had in my whole life! I wasn’t about to let daddy ruin everything for me.

"I don’t care!" I laughed while sticking my tongue out. "I’m not going back until I’ve had my party and maybe even a date or two. You and mother said I could start dating next year when I’m a junior and I can’t wait."

Dad slowly lowered his coffee cup and turned to me.

"Cindy, I love you very much and if you were to spend the rest of your life as my daughter, I promise that I’d never object. This past year has brought us so much closer; I’d hate to lose you but if you want to return to being Tom, I’ll support your choice. My only concern for you right now is that you don’t have a real good feel for what a girl has to worry about. You’ll be allowed to date but I want you and your mom to sit down and have along talk before you do so, okay?"

Daddy almost fell out of his chair as I ran over, threw my arms around him and kissed him. In eighteen years I had never realized that my father was the most wonderful man in the world but in the last few minutes that fact had become totally obvious! Here was someone who loved me unconditionally, he would support me in whatever choice I made, and he just wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing so that I wouldn’t get hurt.

"I love you daddy," I told him between kisses. "You’re such a sweetie I promise that you’ll get to approve all of my boyfriends and if I do decide to stay as Cindy, I’m going to make sure that my husband is as wonderful as you are!"

Dad tried to hide his embarrassment but he couldn’t; mom and I laughed as his face turned a bright red! Breakfast ended in a terrific group hug.

The thought of my debut helped me get through the depression of being stuck in my ugly uniform; mom had promised that she and I would begin shopping for my gown that very weekend! To top it off, she also told me that she was going to schedule me for several of what she called "Girly-girl" days each month before my debut. I’d spend hours in a beauty shop having my hair and nails done, getting facials, and just being pampered so that I’d look and feel like a real princess when it came time for my debut. My girlfriends all agreed that it was the most awesome thing they’d ever heard of and wished their parents would give them girly-girl days too. It didn’t take a whole lot of thinking for me to know just what I could get my friends for their birthdays; I had plenty of money from my first year in the experiment and I was making more each month. What better way to spend some of it than by giving my friends a day of being pampered?

Kerry, my best friend, was the first of my girl friends to get lucky and have a birthday. She couldn’t believe the present when she opened it and realized that we would get to spend my first girly-girl day together. I promised the other girls that I’d give them a day too; it would take me past my debut but who cared? What girl wouldn’t want a day of being pampered?

My first trip to the salon was so wonderful; I just know I’ll never be able to forget it! When we arrived we changed into cotton robes and were taken to a room where we spent the next hour being massaged from head to toe. Kerry and I couldn’t stop giggling; it was just so strange to us to be lying around in just our panties having someone rubbing our bodies. After being rubbed and massaged with warm oil, they could have done anything they wanted to be and I wouldn’t have cared!

We had to endure a leg and bikini waxing next but luckily we were still so relaxed from the massage that the waxing wasn’t too painful.

I looked over at Kerry who grinned and gave me big thumbs-up. Here I was sitting next to a really cute girl wearing nothing but her panties and all I thought of was how nice it felt to be pampered. Kerry was my best friend and I didn’t feel the least bit of attraction to her even though she was one of the prettiest and most popular girls in our school. I was so pumped up with female hormones that I had long ago forgotten how to get excited about a girl. Now pretty girls were to be envied and copied, not chased and conquered. The worst part of it was that I didn’t even miss the chase.

It took an entire afternoon but when it was over Mom, Kerry, and I had been rubbed, waxed, permed, polished, and were three very happy ladies. How could I possibly think about chasing girls when being one was unimaginably wonderful?

My first girly day over, mom and I then set about the arduous task of shopping for my gown.

We spent hours searching for gowns every weekend for a whole month. The gown would have to be white but that was the only requirement believe me, there are tons of variations on white gowns! I tried on strapless, backless, sexy, and frilly before we both decided on a strapless, white chiffon gown with a beaded bodice, full skirt, and a sheer scarf that wrapped around my neck and hung over my shoulders. It had a three-layer petticoat that made the skirt stand out and rustle when I walked and it was just the most beautiful dress I’d ever seen.

Standing in the dressing room in just my bra and panties I momentarily felt a little foolish. There I was, a boy with breasts and a flat crotch, breathlessly waiting to slip on a gown that no boy in his right mind would ever consider wearing.

"Second thoughts Cindy?" Once again, mom seemed to read my mind.

I knew that it was all pretend; I was a boy who was just pretending to be a girl. I’d worn girl’s clothes for a year now without a second thought, I’d shaved my legs, taken showers with other girls, and had even allowed a few boys to kiss me, but like I said, it was all pretend. Looking at the gown in my mother’s arms I felt so funny; all giddy and excited, a little girl playing dress up with her mommy. I couldn’t push a goofy feeling out of my mind as I unhooked my bra and held up my arms to let mom lower the gown over my head. If I put on that gown, I would never be a boy again. It would somehow trap me and take away any chance for me to become Tom in a couple of years. I’d grow up, get married, and maybe even have babies instead. That gown though was different that any dress I’d worn; my breasts would be pushed up and out by the built in bra, my waist would be emphasized, and I’d become a real girl.

"It doesn’t matter," A voice screamed inside my head. "You know you want to wear that dress; it’s so beautiful that you just have to try it on. You’re not some sissy boy playing dress up; you’re a beautiful young woman who is going to have the most wonderful time of her life. You’ll make your parents so proud and you’ll feel so special. If you have to be a girl forever because of that, it’s worth it!"

Deep inside I didn’t really believe that a gown could make a real girl out of me but then again, who cared? I shivered in delight as the gown cascaded over my breasts and around my hips.

The girl in the mirror was a vision to behold. She was beyond pretty; in that gown she was an angel!

I waited for mom to zip me up then gave her a great big kiss.

"This is it mother," I couldn’t begin to control my enthusiasm as I twirled and watched my petticoats peek out from under my skirt. "I have to have this gown, no other could ever be this beautiful."

I was so caught up in admiring myself that I didn’t notice that mom was crying.

"What’s wrong?" I asked, concerned that something I had done had spoiled our special mother-daughter moment.

"Nothing’s wrong honey," She said as she fixed my hair and kissed my cheek. "I can’t get over how beautiful you look, that’s all."

I was on the verge of tears myself.

"This is so beautiful mother," I wept softly. "I wish I had never been a boy, it’s so much better being a girl."

"I understand Cindy," Mom said as we hugged. "But don’t make any rash decisions right now, you’re still not completely accustomed to the effects of female hormones. I wouldn’t want you to do anything you might regret."

How insensitive could mom possibly be? I wondered. Didn’t her and dad jump at the chance to make a girl out of me? I didn’t sign up to be a debutante so it had to have been their idea. Why were they trying so hard to make me into a girl then digging in their heels whenever I mentioned staying this way?

"How could I ever regret it mom? I’ve never felt better about myself; I’m so much closer to you and I’m sure that daddy would be thrilled to have me as a daughter."

"You’re missing my point Cindy," Mom helped me adjust the scarf to look just right. "All we want you to do is to take some time and get used to the idea of being a girl. After that, if you still want to be a girl, you’ll have our complete support."

I thought about what mom had said while I twirled around.

"Suit yourselves," I shrugged as I relished the feeling of my petticoats brushing against my bare legs. "But I’m never going to be a boy again!"

My little outburst didn’t even make mom bat an eye.

"We’ll see," Was all I could get out of her as she adjusted the gown and checked it’s fit. "Right now we have to get my princess’ gown fitted so it will be ready for her big debut."

Mom never said another word about my being a girl but I was determined to do everything I could to make my parents forget all about Tom. From then on I was determined to be the sweetest, most feminine, girl in the whole world. I’d learn how to cook and sew, maybe take ballet lessons or flower arranging. Whatever it took to convince mom and daddy that I should be a girl, I’d do. After all, I wanted to be a good wife for John someday.

Mom was only too happy to school me in the traditional feminine arts starting with baking. Soon daddy was complaining that if I didn’t quit spoiling him with so many delicious sweets he’d have to start letting out his belts.

"If I can’t spoil my daddy, who can I spoil?" I asked in a little girl voice. "Maybe there’s some cute boy who would appreciate my baking more?"

"Your mother’s been talking to you, I see." Dad laughed as he munched on a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies. "She used to ply me with all kinds of cakes and cookies when we were dating."

"You’re going to ruin you dinner daddy," I grinned as I watched daddy grab a few more cookies.

"You women are all alike," Daddy laughed as he put the cookies back on the tray. "Always treating men like we’re little kids."

"Maybe if boys grew up we women wouldn’t have to watch over you so much," I blurted out without thinking.

Dad looked at me for a moment, he had to have caught what I said. What would he think of me referring to myself as a woman, I wondered?

Not that it mattered; as far as I was concerned Tom was gone, never to return. I was Cynthia Lynn, a pretty and very happy young lady about to celebrate her sixteenth birthday. Tom and dad had been fighting ever since he turned fourteen; it was almost like watching one of those nature show where the young male challenges the older one for dominance. Tom needed desperately to know what his role was in the family; he was no longer a little boy, yet not a man ready to lead a family of his own. Daddy resented the challenge and took every opportunity to express his role as the leader of the pack. Poor mom was caught in the middle watching the two men she loved fighting like animals to decide who got first crack at a fresh kill.

Cynthia Lynn on the other hand loved her father very much. No, it wasn’t that way at first but it didn’t take her long to realize that he was only trying to protect her from the cold, cruel, world she’d eventually have to face. He was from the old school and believed that he was the alpha make and that it was his duty to protect and care for the women in his family. Without the distraction of male hormones I was able to relax and see my father as I once had; a loving, caring, man who wanted the best for mom and me. As Cindy I could relax and cuddle up to him just like I did when I was a little kid, before the male hormones drove us apart. I could tease him, joke with him, hug him, and give him the goodnight kisses that had become a ritual in our lives over the last two years. As Cindy, I could love my dad again.

Dad never said a word, I was his little girl and so of course I was a woman. He gently put his arms around mom and me and held us tight.

Mom had no problems with my shifting into a full court press to become a girl. We spent several evenings a week doing our nails, trying out different hairstyles, and hemming skirts for each other. As close as I felt to daddy, it was nothing compared to being with mom. She talked to me about what it had been like when she grew up; the invention of pantyhose, which allowed for the mini-skirt, which she swore did more to turn girls into ladies then any finishing school ever did. Walking in a mini-skirt wasn’t no real challenge she claimed, it wasn’t anything different than wearing shorts, but sitting in one without flashing your panties to everyone took no small degree of skill. No matter how much trouble it was to sit properly in a mini, mom was adamant about one thing – they were worth their weight in gold when it came to attracting boys!

"The guys would see more of me in a pair of shorts than they ever did in a mini," she smiled as she thought back to her teen years. "Yet I got more looks and dates when I wore a mini; boys are just so gullible!"

I was in complete agreement with her; I told her how the guys at school reacted to me in my cheerleader uniform.

"Even though it’s supposed to do that and there’s nothing to see, they think it’s some special treat when my skirt flips up while I’m doing a routine."

"Does it make you feel good to know that boys are looking at you?" She asked with a silly grin. "Even though I love your father with all my heart, I still like to know that men find me attractive."

"I love it when boys look at me," I confided. "It sort of bothered me at first but then the hormones hit me without any warning and all of a sudden I liked it when boys looked at me and smiled at me. It was so cool that boys wanted to carry my books or would rush over to help me look for something; all I had to do was smile and thank them and they’d do anything I wanted."

"Your father was amazed at how quickly you learned to enjoy being a girl," Mom told me as she brushed my hair. "He was afraid that you’d fight it and end up being ridiculed. You can’t imagine how happy you’ve made him."

"He’s not the only one that was amazed," I laughed while enjoying the soft caress of mom’s brush through my long hair. "I thought it was going to be really tough to get used to but it was so easy to just relax and enjoy myself. Don’t ever tell anyone but I wish I had been born a girl."

"I often wished you had been a girl Cindy; sometimes when you were little, I’d look at you and think that you were too pretty to be a boy. If I could just put a pretty little dress on you and put a ribbon in your hair, everything would be better. Then when you started puberty and the arguments with your dad started, I prayed that something would happen to bring you two closer together. John’s project was the answer to my prayer’s; I could have kissed you when you agreed to it."

"Did you ever plan on my being a boy again?" Mom finished brushing my hair and handed me the brush to do hers.

"I wondered if there was anything I could do to keep you as a girl but I would have never done anything if you wanted to call it quits and be a boy again. I’d even understand if you finish the whole four years and decide you’d rather be Tom than Cindy; I just hope that you’d be a better son after being a daughter."

"How could I mom?" I asked as she applied nail polish to my toenails. "I’m not the silly little boy crazy airhead I was in the ninth grade; it was all a novelty for me then, something so different that I couldn’t understand it or control it. I feel different now; I still like boys but in a different way. I love it when a boy smiles at me and I can’t wait to start dating. I want to know what it feels like to have a boy hold me tight and tell me how pretty I am. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to get married and be a wife."

Mom nodded her head as she worked on my nails.

"You’re going to be very popular with boys honey, I just hope you’ll shop around a little before you make any rash decisions."

Shop around? Was mom trying to tell me something? I tried the innocent routine.

"I do plan to shop around mother, I’m certainly not ready to settle down."

"I want you to date boys your age; if John really cares about you he’ll be there when you’re ready for a man."

Wham; score a home run for mom!

"How do you know about John?" I asked timidly. "I didn’t think I was that obvious."

"Not to your dad thank heavens," mom laughed. "Or you’d be in a convent now. No, your father’s oblivious to his little girl’s being in love and I suppose John is too?"

I shrugged my shoulders and poured out my heart.

"So that’s the whole story, I finally got him to stop thinking of me as his buddy in a skirt but now he thinks of me as a little girl."

"Give him a few years dear," Mom advised. "He’s probably confused right now. Just go slowly with him and by the time you graduate I suspect he’ll realize that you are a very attractive, very interesting, woman. You’ll be a beautiful bride."

I gave mom a super good hug; she was just so cool to listen to me and understand how I felt.

I spent all of my free time for the next month or so getting ready for my coming out. Although mom and daddy both said that I could get my hair dyed blonde they insisted that I wait until after the party.

"You are a very pretty young lady Cindy," Daddy told me over dinner one evening. "If I you were you, I wouldn’t want to take a chance on anything going wrong with my looks before the party. You’re going to turn quite a few heads in your pretty gown, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a few young men ask for dates. You don’t want to take a chance on screwing up a chance to date some good looking boys, do you?"

"Oh my god!" I squealed when I realized that daddy had just given me permission to date. "I don’t have to wait until next year?"

"I’ll expect your dates to pick you up here at the house and your mother and I will expect to meet them, but if you can live with that, we can live with your dating."

"I promise to be good daddy," I made a gesture crossing my heart. "I’ll only date nice boys, just like you were when mother met you. I can’t wait till the first cute guy asks me for a date!"

I threw myself into preparing for my debut now that there was the possibility of getting a date from it. Mom made arrangements for another girly day, this time though a shopping trip was going to be part of it.

It was wonderful to once again get a massage and the works but when it came time to do my hair I was in for a surprise; mom had arranged for me to get a completely new style along with highlights! I sat anxiously as my hair was washed, combed, trimmed, colored, and rolled, sure that mother knew exactly what she was doing and wondering how I’d look when I was finally done.

Marcy, another girlfriend who got one of my girly makeovers for her birthday, was with us and when I was done it was obvious from the look on her face that I wasn’t the girl next door she had hung out with.

"Crap," She joked, staring at the new girl on the block. "I’ll never get any boys to look at me while you’re around!"

Mom handed me a mirror that I promptly dropped when I saw the girl staring back at me.

"Wow, this can’t really be me, can it?" I whispered when I got the mirror back. "I never, ever, ever, thought I’d look like this!"

My hair was left long but layered; short in the front but lengthening as it went back. My bangs and the front edges were dyed a slightly darker auburn than the rest of my hair, which fell into a gentle curl at the ends. My eye-shadow was just perfect to bring out my brown eyes, a light rose blush had been applied to my cheeks, and my crimson colored lips had been polished off with a coating of clear gloss which made them seem like a beacon in the night. A beacon that I hoped would attract the lips of some cute guy!

Marcy was no slouch when it came to shopping and was delighted to test out her skills in the very trendy dress shop mother took us to. With her and mother’s help I soon snagged several outfits that would compliment my color and style. It was really cool to have friends like Marcy to help me be the girl I wanted to be, I thought as she dragged me off to the dressing room.

"I want to study fashion design when I get out of high school," Marcy told me as she zipped up a burgundy colored, velvet dress from the pile we’d chosen. "With your looks and money and my sense of style we’re going to have a blast. You just have to wear heels with this dress my dear," She instructed. "It practically cries out for the sophisticated woman look that only a pair of high heels can give."

"Sophisticated woman, me?" I asked while examining my new look in the dressing room mirrors. "I don’t know if I can pull that kind of look off."

"You can forget the girl-next-door look from now on Cindy," She said firmly as she smoothed out my dress. "You’re way too good looking to waste time in Kmart clothes. You’ve got the looks and body that can carry off expensive outfits like this.

I looked at the price tag of the dress and almost fainted.

"This dress costs three hundred dollars, do you know how many pairs of jeans I could get for that?"

"I should slap you right now girl!" Marcy threatened. "You are way too gorgeous to run around in a pair of jeans and a tank top. Let me fix you up for the next dance at school and I’ll bet you won’t want to wear jeans ever again."

"Do your best Marcy but you’ll never get me to give up my jeans! Besides, I can look just as sexy in a pair of tight jeans you know."

"How well I know," Marcy groaned. "Maybe I could get your parents to hold off letting you date until I can score a cute boyfriend. I won’t have a prayer with you out hunting too."

"Ain’t gonna happen," I laughed as I stepped out to show mom my dress. "All I can say is "Mothers, lock up your sons, Cindy’s in town!"

"Cindy better remember her promise too!" Mom lectured as I she inspected me. "Or Cindy will be one lonely girl."

"I’ll behave mother," I sighed. Damned, that woman had good hearing.

"I say she needs heels with that dress, don’t you?" Marcy asked mom. "High ones if she can learn to be just a little graceful. She spends way too much time in jeans."

"Without a doubt Marcy, you have such wonderful fashion sense." Mom complimented. "The higher the better with that dress. They’ll help to remind you that you’re a lady."

"I’ll be a lady when I wear my gown mother, can’t I just be comfortable for now?" I groaned. I’d worn mom’s heels once when daddy took us out to dinner and hated them. My feet ached and I was worried that I’d trip and make a fool out of myself.

"Once you have properly fitted shoes, you’ll realize what a difference they make to a lady’s posture and consequently her desirability."

"Can I wear them to school?" I asked. I bet boys would take notice of me in a pair of heels.

"You don’t war heels with our uniform you moron," Marcy scolded. "But maybe if you’re a good girl your mother would allow you to wear them to a dance. There’s something about the look of a girl in tight jeans and heels that make boys sit up and pay attention."

"I think that’s an excellent idea Marcy," Mom quickly agreed. "If her father and I are going to allow her to start dating she needs to get accustomed to attracting boys."

"I think she already knows how to do that!" Marcy laughed until I gave her a jab in the rib cage. "Maybe she could learn to share them with her friends."

"She knows how to attract them," Mom agreed with a smile. "Now I have to teach her what to do with them."

"Oooh, I can hardly wait." I cooed, earning a strong warning glance from mother.

"That’s not what I meant and you know it. You need to know how to handle boys, how to enjoy a boy without letting him control you. It’s not easy but a girl needs to know how to do it right."

It all seemed so wonderful, yet strange in a way. I was really still a nineteen-year-old guy but I couldn’t think of myself that way anymore. It seemed so foreign to think of myself as a guy; in my mind I was really a fifteen-year-old girl who loved pretty clothes, getting her hair and nails done, and flirting with cute boys. As Tom I didn’t have much to excite me, I was looking at different colleges even though I wasn’t sure what I’d major in should one of them accept me. I dated a few girls, had a couple of guys I was friendly with, but I couldn’t say that any of them were all that memorable. Frankly, I pretty much just sort of existed as Tom.

As fifteen-year-old Cindy though, my life was nothing short of wonderful! I was learning something new every day. Sure, it was odd for a guy my age to be learning things like hair care, makeup, fashion, and dating from a girl’s point of view but I had never had so much fun in my life! After a little adjustment I’d come to enjoy wearing pretty outfits, doing my hair, and wearing makeup, and thanks to the female hormones flowing though me I even enjoyed, make that craved, attention from cute boys!

I had several close friends who were always there to talk if I was upset or just wanted to chat. Tom would have been considered strange if he called another guy when he was feeling down yet Cindy never had to suffer alone; her friends wouldn’t allow it and I wouldn’t think of not being there for them either.

It wasn’t at all hard for me to push Tom away, he’d never appreciate the pretty dress I was wearing or having a girly day, and I was pretty sure that Tom wouldn’t care to be presented to a roomful of people in a beautiful gown. Cindy though was thrilled with the idea of getting her hair, nails, and makeup done, then dressing up in a gorgeous dress and having cute guys dance with her. Since Tom couldn’t appreciate all of the wonderful changes I was going though, I simply wouldn’t let him come around anymore.

"I’ll be good mother, you know that." I pledged. "You and daddy will never have to worry about me."

My promise earned me a quick kiss on the head. "I’m sure you’ll be good Cindy now we have to hurry, I want to find you several more outfits. Now that your father is an executive we ladies will have to look our best. We wouldn’t want to show up at a party in a dress from Kmart or a pair of jeans, would we?"
Parties? New outfits? What more could a girl ask for?

"Can I get a few outfits for school dances or if a boy asks me out? I’ll even wear a dress now and then." I figured that offering to wear an occasional dress rather than jeans would help mom agree. I supposed that I could get used to wearing dresses now and then, especially if they were as pretty and made me look as hot as the one I was modeling did.

"Of course," Mom quickly agreed. "Maybe now and then you could even try wearing a pair of dressy slacks instead of jeans?"

"I saw a pair of black silk ones that I’ll bet you’d make guys droll in." Marcy suggested with a wink. "They’d fit like a glove."

I grabbed her by the arm and started to pull.

"Let’s grab them before someone else does," I urged. "Hurry."

"Marcy can find the slacks dear, you try on another outfit while she’s looking." Mom ordered as she guided me to the dressing room.

As I pulled on a sleeveless pink top I hoped Marcy would hurry, I hated to think that another girl might get the slacks that would make guys droll over me. I pulled on a short black skirt, tucked in my top and took a few seconds to admire the well-dressed young woman I had become.

The outfit made a huge difference in my looks; even without Marcy’s help I just knew that with a pair of dark stockings, heels, and some jewelry I’d look several years older and much more sophisticated that a fifteen year old girl. Mom would love this outfit and Marcy and I would have a blast accessorizing it. I couldn’t wait to see how guys would react to me wearing it!

Mom loved the way I looked in the skirt and top

"Totally cool for dances, don’t ya think?" I asked as Marcy returned with the slacks.

"You are going to be one tough babe to beat," Marcy laughed as she gave me a thorough going over. "Please leave a few cute ones for us poor girls who don’t have your looks or wardrobe?"

"We’re the same size so you can always borrow an outfit," I promised as we headed back to try on the slacks. "And besides, you have a better figure than I do."

I wasn’t just trying to be nice either; Marcy had the wide rounded hips and cute little butt that came from being born a girl. I was developing a cute shape but she’d always be just a little curvier that I was.

When I first switched to being a girl I had my doubts about passing. My legs were skinny, my butt nearly flat, and the best I could do for boobs were thirty-two A’s. After almost two years on hormones though and I was looking pretty good; my butt had filled out, I now wore a thirty four B cup bra, and the sticks that used to pass as my legs were now shapely enough to draw lustful glances from boys when I wore skirts. I didn’t doubt my passing ability any longer than I doubted that I was really meant to be a girl.

Marcy was right, the slacks did fit like a glove, I made a note to pick up some panties that wouldn’t be quite so visible under them. I changed into a red, lamb’s wool sweater, fluffed my hair, and hurried to show mom how pretty I could look.

"She’ll need different panties but this look is her, don’t you think?" Marcy asked mom as we approached. "She looks a little older but not old enough that she’ll be able to sneak into bars."

"I’d never do anything like that mother!" I took a playful swing at Marcy. "I’m not like some girls who shall remain nameless."

Marcy and I didn’t have time to do more than stick our tongues out at each other; there were way too many more outfits to try on.

I really loved the way I looked in one dress; a typical little black dress with spaghetti straps, it was a little low cut and came to mid thigh on me which was a little short but still okay with mom. The best part of the dress though was the jacket that came with it. A bolero style, it stopped just short of my waist, drawing attention to my well-earned curves and my bust line. If showing off my boobs and curves wasn’t enough, it also had sheer sleeves that made me look utterly hot and sexy!

"I love it mom, but do you think daddy will let me have it?"

"I’ll handle your father Cindy," Mom smiled mysteriously. "It’s about time he realizes that his little girl is becoming a young woman."

I threw my arms around mom’s neck and gave her a great big kiss.

"I love you mom," I cried. "Tell daddy I’ll always be his little girl though, okay?"

I couldn’t believe the fabulous outfits I got that day; skirts, dresses, slacks, satin panty and bra sets, if a girl could imagine needing it, I had them. All I needed was a reason to wear them.

I got my reason super fast – the annual fall dance was coming up in a week and I was going to strut my stuff big time!

The Fall dance was special, we could wear jeans to the regular dances but even the grungiest boy dressed up for the fall dance.

I picked my black dress and jacket, with daddy’s permission of course, silky black stockings, a pair of heels, dangling pearl earrings, a pearl necklace, and a black clutch purse accented with white beads. I let Marcy and Kerry borrow outfits but I was confident that even with my great looking girlfriends for competition, I’d still attract my share of guys. Who knows, maybe we could trade boys like we traded outfits?

Daddy was such a sweetie when he dropped us off at the dance; he told each of us that we looked very pretty and that he was sure there would be many a broken heart among the boys that night. It was nice of him to tell us how pretty we looked but of course the real test would be when the boys saw us. Every father thinks his daughter’s pretty, it’s nice but only a boy her age can make a girl believe it.

We believed it by the end of that night that was for sure. I know I danced with twelve different boys each of them made a point to tell me how great I looked and that I was the prettiest girl there. A couple were trying to distract me, I know that cause at the same time they were telling me how pretty I was, they were trying to rub my butt through my dress and press their crotches against me. I finally warned two of them that if they didn’t find another place for their hands and crotches, my daddy would. It’s amazing how fast boys respond to the threat of a girl’s dad.

One boy, Dale Kovack, made the best impression on me of all the boys. His hands stayed on my back and his crotch stayed away from mine. He told me that I looked very pretty and was easy to dance with. We talked about school and our friends, what we liked and didn’t like. Actually, I did most of the talking, every time I asked Dale a question, he’d answer it then find a way to get me to tell him everything I though about the subject. I had such a good time with him that after being felt up and rubbed by so many other guys, I decided to stick with him for the rest of the night. When he asked if he could take me to a movie, I promised that I’d ask my parents and let him know in school on Monday. I couldn’t wait to rush home and tell mom and daddy about the cute, lovable, boy that wanted to date me. I hoped they’d approve.

Mom and daddy listened carefully as I told them all about the sweet boy I danced with; how polite he was, how he didn’t try to feel me up or rub against me, and how he made me feel so special.

"So can I go to a movie with him, please, please?" I asked after detailing what a doll he was.

"He’ll have to pick you up here and meet us," Mom instructed. "No sexy clothes, and easy on the makeup."

"What are his grades like? Who are his parents?" Daddy quizzed.

I agreed to all of mom’s conditions and told daddy everything I knew about Dale. It took about thirty minutes but it was worth it when they gave me permission for my first date. I couldn’t imagine how I was going to get any sleep that weekend waiting to give Dale the news on Monday. Of course I called all of my girlfriends to tell them the good news. Maybe one of them would start dating soon and be able to double with Dale and me.

My girlfriends stood back giggling as I gave Dale the good news. I told him all that my parents had insisted on and asked if he still wanted to take me out.

"Of course I do," He grinned. "I got the same lecture from my parents when they told me I could start dating; I have to meet the girl’s parents, I have to pick her up at her house, open doors for her, help her with her coat, and be a total gentleman."